lynettelimyuyingsblog

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

it takes juz one night to destroy the peacefulness i had for 19 years. wad did i do to deserve all these fucking shit? whose fault izzit? i have no answers to all these bombarding question in my head. juz one night and everything i have are like gone. work and home. both dun give me a sense of security anymore. both are like empty shells where i juz go and stay and leave, for the sake of a roof over my head, for routine's sake. wad the hell. i'm sick of it. someone pls return my daddy. he's being replaced by a mad dog who only bites and bark at any fucking thing. can't even study for a simple 15 MCQ test. have to be bothered and interrupted by that mad dog.

work. suddenly everyone i trust and love so much are like daggers. killing each other .... why? why must everything i trust and have so much confidence in and live for fall out juz one day after another? making me feel so lost. really lost. no sense of security at all.. shit. how did i end up like that? wad the hell did i do to end up like that?

can't talk about work at home and can't talk about home at work. now the only place i feel safe is at school where all my frens are. but how long is it gonna go on for? the only support i have is my frens. but most of my buds are attached therefore cannot also intrude them. haiz....... i've lost support from guys. daddy replaced by a mad dog. kor in camp 90% of the time. given the recent saga, doubt he will be coming home. who else? malik is also disturbed by his recent saga. khalid? filzan? riez? seems like everyone i can confine in are from my work place, but how often do i see them? during work also can't talk much. damn... failure.

have to be strong for mummy. mummy is being strong for me. when is this fucking shit gonna end? hate myself. hate my whole fucking life. hate everything.

divorce? i'm all for it. i'm even prepared.

fuck off

12:04 PM

this scorpio has very split personality if anyone has realised. She likes super cute stuff e.g. hello kitty, pooh and a very good example, this blog skin. On the other hand, she hates to dress cutely. she uses vulgarities like occasionally but never uses it when parents are home ; loves dressing up when the occasion comes but hates the heels/dresses/skirts; loves making friends but hates socialising; plays the piano but prefers soft rock music in her mp3; loves the customer service envt but doesn't want it as her career; materialistic to a certain extent but hates the cliched designer brands; loves hanging out with friends but sometimes prefers and enjoys the solitude when alone; not really interested in finding a boyfriend but hoping to find a suitable and dependable husband; hates the cliched "wooing" but loves the sweetness in idol dramas; can get emotional at times but doesn't like too much attention and concern; can be superly active but is known to be the rain on people's parade; and the list could go on. if she doesn't talk to you, pls don't think she's unfriendly; she just doesn't want put on a pretence of knowing you well. All in all, hopefully you wouldn't hate her if you know her well enough. and if you hate her, hopefully its because you don't know her well enough.