One lesson learnt from yesterday. Nv crash lecture unless you know who's in the class.. well, i went for boss and weng's gems class on wed. who should i see but him. actually i didn't notice him first as he was lying down. i saw his other frens. i then i saw him.. my first reaction was like "gawd! why did i choose to crash this damn lecture!!!" i couldn't turn for the door and leave so i found a place and sat down. then i acted like i was concentrating on my proins tutorial ... hahaz.. a bit diff leh... also listened to the teacher's lecture. learnt that there is a star which is named the polaris in this universe that never sets and never rises. then learn how the star signs like leo, capricon and stuff come about. i find it very interesting but dunno why half the class KO half hour after the lesson started. hahaz..

anyway, was a bit dissoppointed for my PMnA1 test. i totally screwed it all up... the marks is like ridiculous.. went back earlier even before i finished my reports... then sat down in my room and let my emotions flow with my tears... mummy and daddy came back earlier than i expected... didint have the time to clean my face and act as if nothing happen.. so they immediately noticed cuz i wasn't the cheerful self i used to be on that day. ....... they keep asking me for like 10 mins wad happen.. they came up with all sorts of reasons why i cried.. i have to admit that some of them are really funny.. eg.. i was cheated of my money (due to boss's incident), i was bullied by my frens, i quarelled with ting, i had a tiff with my sistas, scolded by my teacher............ hahaz.. really all sorts.. then came the very interesting question.... "you broke up with your boyfriend izzit" hahaz.. i practically laughed at the question... hahaz... its a good way to tell your parents you have a boyfriend this way. dun think they will scold you.. hahaz..

anyway, ting, thanx for being there.. hahaz..

fucked up gal with a fucked up life in a fucked up sch with fucked up results..

clarence.. i know how you feel..

gave kiev that application form.. gave up trying to convince myself.

bai yu, hope you get choosen.

no use trying .. no matter how hard i try, it never work out.

i'm sorry.. mummy

i'm sorry daddy..

these few days, freaking sway. left my diskett at sch com free access. had to go back early in the morning cuz of all the reports i did.. in case it got lost.. because of this, i could not watch the 2 most important matches!! the france match and the brazil match. but i woke up quite a few times in the middle of the night to get first hand results of the matches. hahaz. received quite a few smses that the brazil match is starting. but when i woke up and see the message, already half time le. hahaz.

one report already 95% done... left urm... 3 more... with 2 tests unstudied.. and 2 assig untouched.. hahaz.. wad a holiday. somemore mama wanna go korea. wah.. if really go,dunno i going to squeeze everything into 5 days? hahaz. really lucky she nv go.

wanna watch x men 3.. but some ppl pang seh. dunno who.. dun wan say the name. the one juz cut hair de, the one refuse to buy a new bag de.. haiz. dunno wad i do in my past life.. deserve this kind of treatment. haiz... sad ah.. watch one movie also so difficult. now already not much screening le. haiz.

kor go thailand with his army frens. come back on thurs i think. also dunno wad time. he lost his passport in the airport.. kenna scolded by my dad in public. lucky i nv go see him off.. hahaz.. scared i cry.he come back on thurs, going back to army on sunday again. so.. again i am alone at home.

mummy and daddy going to australia in aug. kor at that time in army. haiz. that time i will REALLY BE ALONE at home with my maid. the worst thing... marketing i have to go on my own !! sian. last time got kor go with me. now is myself. haiz .. sadded.. for abt 2 WEEKS !!!! sian.

I believe in angels,The kind that heaven sends,I am surrounded by angels,But I call them friends.- Aizabel Parinas -


Standing by,All the way.Here to help you through your day.Holding you up,When you are weak,Helping you find what it is you seek.Catching your tears,When you cry.Pulling you through when the tide is high.Just being there,Through thick and thin,All just to say, you are my friend
.- Brittani Kokko -

today was a seriously bad day for me.. i dunno wad came over me. was crying and crying and crying the whole day. the news came first.. was totally unexpected and unacceptable for me. i dunno how come i couldn't control my tears.. in front of so many ppl i juz broke down.. the lady was comforting me.. but think i gave attitude.. it really wasn't intentional... the more he said, the more he showed, the more tears came down. the second time i broke down.. it was in the room.. luckily it was dark.. nobody saw me this time. BUT.. wad made my heart ache was that i saw mummy crying with me in the room. she was dabbing her eyes with tissues.. sniffing.. and i saw that she kept looking down. i didn't dare look at her in the eye... i broke down again during dinner time. popo was beside me.. but didn't think she saw. i dunno wad to tell her. kor kept encouraging me.. talking to me. but the thing is the more he talked, the more ashmaed i was of myself. i told YH that i would not be bothered by this matter.. i would live with it.. but dunno why i couldn't do it.. was smsing one of my classmates during the whole time. told him that i can't accept something emotionally.. he didn't make me feel any better.. i have already tried my best. but it still didn't work out. i dun have much time to do everything. i dunno wad i have to do. really... i really dunnooo......................