Saturday, November 25, 2006
the clock is abt to strike 12 anytime now. why am i still online? why am i online so often nowadays? why why why??? excuses excuses excuses..........guess wad day izzit today? is the 25th and it's his birthday. why izzit so hard to erase it from my memory? cuz its 5 days after my birthday. cuz i usually wish him. cuz.. it's his birthday. he looks so happie now. with his position as a guitarist. muz be his greatest dream come true. time sometimes don't heal some stuff you wan it to heal.been thinking a lot before going to bed these few days. actually is nothing much. its juz the difference in the way i look at things. so much difference. wad am i to do? nothing? change everything? either way don't seem like a good ending. is crying means surrendering your fate?
11:56 PM
Friday, November 24, 2006
add on to my b-dae celeb.daddy treated me to my fav dim sum. later he know i nv acknowledge him then i die liao. hahaz.. wad would you do if you want to sleep, but your eyes are always wet?
wad would you do if you have already tried, but nobody is there to encourage you?
wad would you do if you have to cry yourself to sleep everyday?
wad would you do if this is the last day you will be talking to me and you hurt me with your words?
they didn't teach me in school. but i wanna know. who can tell me?
i'm sorry if am not perfect.
i'm sorry if i hurt you wiwth wad i said
i'm sorry if i was a bitch to everyone i knew
i'm sorry if i flare up for every fucking thing that i dun like
i'm sorry if you had to tolerate my nonsense
i'm sorry if i have too high expectations
i'm sorry..
i juz wish i could stop those tears somehow or another. i can't be biting my finger the whole journey home to prevent myself from making a scene. my eyes are swollen and my fingers hurt from all the biting.
ihatemyselfnow.
1:39 PM
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
ok.. finally the chiong-ing of my b-day meet up is past.. but.. still have one more left. right ting? hahaz..
started on fri with clarence and gang go eat steamboat at marina. waited for those who had test till abt 6 plus. reached there around late 7. started eating at 8. wah.. starving sia... talked abt all the gossips.. abt kok, xi xun, bai...... etc. etc. after dinner went to hai pian to take pics without shi min and xi xun. cuz they had to leave for home first.
the surprise on Fri. chen fong. this was how it went.
chen fong: pick a card (from a deck of cards)
me -> picked 5 clubs
chen fong while shuffling : say stop
me (said stop and put the card back into the deck of cards.
chen fong: you believe i can overturn a card?
me: no
the back of the cards faced me and he spread them out with a 5 hearts overturned.
chen fong: is this your card?
me: no
chen fong: ok. ( and he overturned the next few cards.)
1st queen, 2nd queen, 3rd queen, 4th queen.
chen fong: take the next card
i took the next card and guess wad? is 5 clubs (the one i took orginally and put it back) this time with wordings "to yu ying. happie 18th b-day......."
OMG.
sunday afternoon. i thought kor nv buy anything for me (again!!) .. so early in the morning, i beat him, pucnh him, pinch him, scold him, ignore him, give him attitude....... blah blah.. lunch keep kb-ing him and stuff.. then when i wanna go out for dinner liao, i change clothes. he hang the 'ice-lemont-tee' bag on the door. when i opened the door, i was like why is there a plastic bag and didn't care. and then i saw mummy and kor outside the door taking video of me. i was like.. huh? wad the hell is going on. then they were like "open the bag! open the bag!' i reversed gear and peeked into the bag.. wah! a belt!!!! hahaz.. then later kor tell me " ta ma de ni.. kb dao wo buay tahan . ben lai yao ming tian jiao mummy gei ni de.. ta ma de. ni kb dao wo jing tian gei ni. na qu la na qu la.. " hahaz.. spoil my first surprise.sunday night with my gang.. surprise failed cuz of me.
received an sms by yun har saying she wont be able to attend the dinner cuz of some family stuff.. said sorry and ask me to have fun. i believed lah. cuz family matter mah.
met up with jia xin first to chope place for the rest at hans great eastern. left to fetch the rest. i came in with her by the front door and left by the back door. so, naturally, i came in with the rest by the back door. but think jia xin didn't notice that i went from the back door.
one of them suddenly asked" eh. thought yun har not coming? "
then i was like "no lah. that one is jia xin."
"no lah.. yun har lah"
i was begining to feel pissed cuz i thought that they can't differentiate between jia xin and yun har. so i was like" where?"
"neh!" they pointed out to the other side of the restaurant.
i was like" eh..na ge hen xiang yun har leh"
omg.. its her!!!! with a cake.
we were not supposed to see her lah. cuz nv plan properly, then kenna sabo and she was found.
ahhhh.. surprise failed. jia xin and yun har soooooo sian diao.mon night. dinner with sistas. woohoo~ billy bombers!! pity mich can't come. haiz. sad... anyway.. finally hsien could make it.. talked, crap..... first billy bombers meal in 18 years.. hahaz.. really 18 yrs.. the milkshake was fantastic. the meal was superb. only the price and the serving was a little on the high side. me and kel shared a plate of set.. but then we thought wah lao.. so little. not enough. then the others could not finish their meal cuz it was too heavy for one person.. so all donate there.. and its juz nice. or rather .. too much. we could not even finish the BEN & JERRY'S ICE-CREAM LAH!! WASTED.... hahaz. hmm... worth it.. hahazprezzie time!mama ->perfume from estee lauder. (white linen)kor -> belt and handphone key chain with my b-dayyun har and gang and gym and bai yu and clarence and whoever shared the prezzie -> winnie the pooh bolster and a bag. (dun worry yun har. i will carry the bag soon)sistas -> winnie the pooh marshmallows, winnie the pooh ceramic mug, letter set, silky gal lip gloss, poisson rouge bracelet.thanx to kel's A2 size birthday poster. i intend to frame it up. and thanx to min's letter. happie birthday to::::::::aaron from faranheit :: 20/11/1985kimmy :: 20/11/1986keh luh :: 18/11/1988ragavan :: 20/11/1988me :: 20/11/1988ashley :: 20/11/1989p.s. those who know anyone whose birthday is 20/11/1987, pls intro. i wanna fill in the gap.. hahaz. thanx!thanx to everyone everybody who made my 18th birthday a happie, memorable day. (or rather days).. thanx for all the trouble. time. money. prezzies. luv you guys!
3:07 PM
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
taekwondo seems very long lost to me. happen to pass by a grading session.. hahaz.. all those little kids with their parents. still can remember my first grading session. white belt, blur blur de.. my parents leh? drop me off and say bye bye liao. i always see other parents hands full of cameras, video recorder and stuff.. my parents never even accompany my first or last grading. still remember my blue belt grading. cuz my NPCC duty clash with my close-door grading, i have to go for the official grading. wah. the one have to take pledge and stuff.. soooooo damn serious. close door grading is one examiner see 8 ppl. but at the official one, is 3 examiner see 4 ppl. wah.. i stunned .. dunno how to pass... sparring is i blue belt fight with junior black. ta ma de.. that damn bastard dun give face loh. kick so hard. argh! but in the end pass .. hahaz... daddy coming back on fri. mummy leaving on thur. kor kor in camp. along again. at home. sian. WHY NOT FRI? CAN GO CHIONG AT DXO!! hahaz.. going to have a busy busy weekend.. wahahaha.. bought the grade 7 new syllubus book.. dunno whether it's the right decision. have a diploma standard piece inside. ahhhh.. freaking me out. no.. i have to overcome my fear. yun har! help me. i will die if i am going for diploma. there will be 3 examiners. THREE! ok.. clarence and chen fong can keep my music books for the time being. dun wanna be distracted by all the liu xing ge qu. help me keep them for the time being. hahaz. go ahead. treat me as an invisible. dun give a damn about me. keep on treating me like a piece of glass.. you think i piss you off? but hey, know wad? it takes 2 hands to clap, 2 hands to play a masterpiece and 2 stones to spark off a fire. (quoted from min) . you PISS me off also. judge yourself first before you think someone piss you off. this is the way i am, live with it. remember that i wasn't born to please you and i will remember you were't born to please me. the tables are turned now. i have had enough. if dun-give-a-shit-about-yuying is the name of the game, its game over ppl, G-A-M-E-O-V-E-R- .. it's your turn to suffer the way i did.
9:07 AM
Sunday, November 05, 2006
saw that some posts mostly have the title e-learning.. hahaz.. so typical. anyway, came back from gym and i saw the couple next door hand in hand walking along the road. they are the perfect couple in my eyes. why? cuz firstly they are malays and the guy is sooo good looking and the gal is also so good looking. the lady has spike hair. The guy is a GOLF INSTRUCTOR and as if that's not enough, his wife is a poly lecturer at Ngee Ann.. teaching IS (something like gems in SP).. wah.. cannot imagine how much they are earning. and they all damn sweet lah. always joke around with each other, tease each other. and their house is like... P-O-S-H.. dun even look like HDB. soooo envy..think i will not be spending my christmas in singapore this year (yay!) .. at my most most most fav place. JAPAN. hahaz.. but not going to see hello kitty and stuff.. juz sight seeing. cuz mummy wanna go for sight seeing. the deal is .. she pay for air ticket. i pay for my own shopping. so guys, sorry to say but dun expect gifts.. hahaz.. no lah.. see how much loh.. anyway, going to those mountains and stuff, where got gifts rite? ...my DOA say wan to watch up to now haven watch. is not forget then no time. sian.. got loads of show coming up in Nov.. material gals, flush away, casino royal, happie feet, step up....... blah blah... wow... cool.... there's a hello kitty car, credit card, sofa, tv, com, .......... wah.. sooo cool.. but winnie and tweety dun have leh.. so sad.. if got.. at least even mah. everything also hello kitty then if i buy then ppl will think i am a hello kitty freak. . if got winnie the pooh and original tweety i confirm chop buy de.. its juz that everything that is available for me to buy is hello kitty.. that's why. if your heart's not in it for realpls dun try to fake wad you dun feelif love's already goneit's not fair to leave me oncuz i would give the whole world for youanything you ask of me i dobut i won't ask you to stayi rather walk away
6:12 PM
