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lynettelimyuying's blog
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Monday, July 04, 2005

suddenly... i feel so lost and lonely.. why?? i wish i knew.. it was my decision to ask them to go stead.. then when they go stead le, i am the one feeling so defeated... yah.. defeated is the right word... i dun blame them... this is their happiness... why should i cuz of my selfishness deprive them of their happiness?? they fought for it themselves... they should enjoy their fruits of their own labour... haiz... found that i was a bitch.. i didn't contact min and yi for so long... until i felt defeated then go find them... how could i ever forgive myself?? life has been an uphill for me.. the real test is here already.. who are my true frens?? who are the ones that i trust ?? who are the ones who will be there for me when i need them?? maybe i have been avoiding... but if you were me, how will you feel?? it has been so long since the last relationship and now.. so suddenly... another one comes about... it's so short.. faster than a streak of lightning... and i am not both emotionally and menatally prepared... but it wasn't like this with min... fer, and kel.. i can't help but avoid.. my feelings are beyond my control.. hope everybody can understand.. the world is so small... but how come i can't find my way out? everything is crammed inside my world.. it can't get out.. like that heat trapped in the surrounding of carbon dioxide... can't get out.. and the world is gonna collasped with all the heat in it.. when will my world collaspe??? sonner or late... it's juz a matter of time..

+ why are there not enough words in the english dictionary to describe how i feel?? +

1:20 PM